In awe of Italians

I am always very impressed with how highly some people seem to value themselves, I really am.

I was at the London Pirelli's head quarter the other day, meeting up with a successful business man I've known, literally, all my life to say hello as we were both in town and this is what one does.

I wasn't impressed with the premises, by the way, and the receptionist - although lovely -looked like Mortitia while the guy at the door was simply scruffy. Surely the Italians should be aware that we already have a bad reputation as it is in the rest of the world and pay more attention to first impressions? Most likely, full of it as the are and still living on Roman-times' credit, they are oblivious to it all.

Anyway, this gentleman tells me that he's thinking of taking his boat to the Caribbean where he can make lots of money just by chartering people around the islands for two months a year. ALL this guy needs is a woman who's willing to cook and clean for the guests and, of course, look after him too.

This 'lucky' woman will not be making any money as she will benefit enough from the amazing lifestyle as it is! In the meanwhile, this guy is planning to make around 90,000 pounds PER WEEK out of the enterprise and other people's work, while getting laid.

I'm in awe.

Selfish People

Why waste precious time and invest emotional energy with selfish people? No matter the allure 'unattainable' people exude, it's only there for us to realize that we are wasting time on childish hopes and dreams instead of investing it in ourselves by doing things that make us feel good and are good for us.

Selfish people are a very lonely bunch. They are unable to let anybody in because they are too busy looking up their own arsehole. Soon they discover that the only people who stick around are the ones who work for them: Often they mistake their cleaners, drivers, secretaries and so on for friends.

Because of their inability to take an interest in other people, as well as their unwillingness to engage in the necessary give and take required by all relationships, these people are magnets for the emotional needy type whose self esteem is fragile.

The emotional needy type is the one desperate for love and attention who is prepared to put up with less than his/her share because a low self esteem does not allow for more.

Ironically, instead of looking where one's needs could actually be met, the needy type chooses to focus the search on the very people unable to provide him with what he needs. This happens in order to point out, through repeated disappointment, that one can't find outside of oneself what one is looking for.

In life we can learn through pain and through joy. This is evident in Nature. Pain doesn't have to be feared as it's only there to highlight the areas we have to work through. But we can also choose to let joy do the highlighting and concentrate on it instead.

Guilt and Gratefulness

Guilt and gratefulness are two sides of the spectrum I am uncomfortable with.

Guilt is an emotion I simply don't experience - as I never intentionally mean any harm - and gratefulness carries with it the implication of having an agenda and, generally speaking, both parties benefit something from all undertaken gestures thus, no need to be grateful.

Both emotions are far too binding for my liking.

Trojan Horse

Whatever we do, say or give to someone must always come purely from the heart and from the honest and self-less desire to share with others, without any other motive involved.

When we give something in order to gain or tie someone's heart to us, we are setting ourselves up for disaster.

Beware of using the stratagem of the Trojan Horse to break into someone's heart.

These kind of gestures are easily recognizable by the emotional and often sexual connotation contained in the offering.

Manipulating, trying to win someone's affection with presents or by any other mean is only going to backfire.

This is the law of Karma.

Reincarnation

Re-incarnation

What happens to our souls when -- and if -- we re-incarnate? Do we only re-incarnate into human form in order to play out some sort of karmic plan? Will we be paying for what we have done now by, say, being re-incarnated into a mouse if in the previous life we tested on animals? Will we be enjoying the fruits of our hard labor? Is what happens in our present life some sort of 'setting the score right' from a previous existence? In my point of view none of the above applies...so many questions, so much superstition. Personally, when I don't like what's happening to me I simply accept it as something which I have to learn from for my next step up. Each episode, each situation will make me a better person. The only way is forward. Next time around, whatever shape my soul will take of one thing I'm sure: It'll be exactly what is right for me. Fear nothing but fear itself.
Love, always....
Alecs

People who get away with it and people who don't

People who get away with it and people who don't
Category: Life

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to get away with murder (and I don't mean O.J., here), while some other get caught for the smallest thing? I bet you've asked yourself why that is...well, it's simple:
Only those who would be able to learn from their experience get punished, the other ones don't...poor bastards!

They who get what they want, and they who don't

They who get what they want, and they who don't
Category: Life

The main reason behind the success of any enterprise lies in one's motivation --
the reason behind wanting to achieve something is most important.
In order to be successful one has to really want to do what one has set out to accomplish, and, generally speaking, one's main motivation has to be that of wanting to share one's talents without having any further motive. Whatever comes from it -- applause, recognition -- will be a bonus.
Having said that, you may all have noticed that plenty of "unworthy" people seem to enjoy success. One doesn't actually have to be pure at heart or even honest in order to be successful, all that is required is that one believes to be so.
Scary?

Capital Punishment

Capital Punishment
Category: Life

It goes without saying that I'm against the death penalty. It also goes without saying that the hanging of Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with Justice and all with Revenge. What perhaps few have considered is that as Saddam died showing his dignified agony to the world, we saw a man who had not been given a chance to repent, a man who died believing he was right and even misunderstood. A man, unfortunately, who will therefore have to go through a similar life path again.

Poison

Poison, freeing one's life from it all
Category: Life

Why do we send out so much poison in our lives? Why can't we just be nice? Are we afraid that people will do things for us only if we make them?

But what is the outcome of something achieved under such means?
At the very best, all we can accomplish is a "one timer", not something that will endure in time.

We can't make people do for us, or behave towards us, the way we believe they should; It is a pointless waste of our time to withhold thanks or to act cold and disappointed when - say - whoever we believed should have called earlier, finally calls.

Much better to appreciate what we are being offered in the knowledge that if there's more to come we will embrace it, otherwise we would be just fine.

It is possible to apply this formula to any situation, all that is required is the understanding that - ultimately - we move through life spending every single second of it only in our own company, we might as well become our best friend then, don't you think?

Revenge

Revenge
Category: Life

One thing that I have frequently come across during the course of my life is the human desire for revenge.
I don't know how many times I came across weird and complicated revengeful plans, which usually require lots of effort and leave one feeling exhausted.
The feeling of wanting revenge -- like the rest of what we call 'negative' emotions -- in itself cannot possibly makes us feel good.
Perhaps at first we think we are feeling elated, that setting the score right is empowering but in my experience the opposite is true: how often do we end up feeling anything but happy instead?
And what about those horrible butterflies in the stomach telling us that maybe we've gone too far...that we really have screwed up any chance for good this time?
I believe that all of this is easily avoidable by simply trusting that whoever has hurt us will get his/her due, and that Nature -- in its infinite power and knowledge -- will know where to hit much better than anything we could ever hope to come up with.
Usually we end up paying for our shortcomings where it hurts us the most and very few people can claim to know someone as well as the very force that created that very being.
Therefore, my advice is to let Nature do its job -- try it, it's very liberating.

Heal Thyself

Heal Thyself
Category: Life

A recurrent factor in life -- perhaps one that keeps presenting itself most regularly and in varied manifestations throughout, it's having to face situations where one's self-esteem is challenged and old, atavistic suffering and anxiety re-emerge.

In order to stop re-encountering this kind of situation and its determination to make us conquer it once and for all, we had better deal with it at its very onset.

Often the way one reacts whenever -- for example -- one is being told something derogatory, is at first to get angry then to feel hurt. Once one realizes that other's opinion of oneself does not necessarily coincide with the opinion one holds him/herself in, one can choose to ignore people's comments or, at least, to smile sweetly and let it all be as water off a duck's back.

The constant, insatiable need to prove and justify oneself usually comes from a scarred self-esteem (not from the actual opinion one holds oneself in), and from having been repeatedly put down by people who – because of their actual poor opinion of themselves and unwillingness toward any form of self-improvement – project their inadequacies onto others: the old twisted idea that by calling someone names, for some illogical reason one comes out looking better in comparison.

The same concept applies to the feeling of being unloved or not loved enough. Here,though, it's also important to make an effort to stop being over sensitive whenever total demonstration of never-ending love fails to come one's way and to remember that human beings have their limits.

Often such situations would seem to occur at the worst possible time -- a time perhaps when one was in dire need of re-assurance -- consider that, instead, what is happening is happening exactly when the impact would be the greatest, thus forcing us to give it all of our attention and allowing us, by resolving the issue once and for all, a chance to heal.

Love yourself, always

Superiority, Inferiority complex

Superiority, Inferiority complex
Category: Life

Why is it that at times we all tend to feel either superior or inferior toward our fellow human beings? By thinking ourselves either more or less intelligent then someone we miss out on perhaps the most important lesson in life: the chance to learn or to teach something valuable.
I believe that with a little humility, empathy and by sincerely trying to understand one-another even world conflicts might either be avoided or resolved diplomatically.
We are here to strive for harmony not to fight those we share the world with......
More in my latest book. Secure your copy now.
Love, always
Alecs

Jealousy, a self defeating beast

jealousy, a self defeating beast
Category: Bloggin

We have finally met our other half and everything's hunky dory, we are in love and we know we are loved back; Life is sweet and we feel great.

And then silently, slithering, the beast creeps in: Jealousy.

It all starts with a little intercepted look, an innocent comment or a casual remark and the person we believed up to this very second had eyes only for us is in love with our best friend! A bit irrational perhaps, no?

So what is really happening? Well, it's quite obvious: our insecurities have crept in.

Unfortunately, though, what we are about to do is to self-sabotage our wonderful relation-ship.

The moment you accuse someone of something is the moment you plant a seed in the person's mind that he/she is capable of the very act. Even worse: he/she now knows that you believe him/her up to the task. What you have done is giving him/her confidence to move ahead with what up to that very moment was just a thought, if it even was one.

Keep at it and together with re-enforcing his/her self esteem you may even drive them to the very act of adultery. "After all -- they'll eventually come to think -- if I'm constantly being accused of robbing the bank I might as well do it and perhaps it's not such a bad idea, too!"

But how to deal with such powerful emotions? Having recognized that giving in to our often irrationals fears is self defeating, we are now left with two choices: the first one – and in my point of view the most tiring one - is to resort to all kind of spying methods we can come up with and to accuse only when we have secured the proof (remember that for the Law one is innocent until proven guilty).

The second one, is not to give in to our insecurities and to trust that he/she has chosen to be with us like we have chosen to be with him/her. Learning to control our emotions takes some effort and practice and especially the applying of temperance.

From the book Tarot for Relationships by Jocelyn Almond and Keith Seddon – The Aquarian Press:

"The word 'temperance' is often used to mean moderation and control of natural impulses which would lead to foolhardy behavior. A person who practices temperance may appear self-controlled, calm and restrained in difficult circumstances, but the important feature is balance. Nothing is repressed or held back to cause tension or inner turmoil".