We have finally met our other half and everything's hunky dory, we are in love and we know we are loved back; Life is sweet and we feel great.
And then silently, slithering, the beast creeps in: Jealousy.
It all starts with a little intercepted look, an innocent comment or a casual remark and the person we believed up to this very second had eyes only for us is in love with our best friend! A bit irrational perhaps, no?
So what is really happening? Well, it's quite obvious: our insecurities have crept in.
Unfortunately, though, what we are about to do is to self-sabotage our wonderful relation-ship.
The moment you accuse someone of something is the moment you plant a seed in the person's mind that he/she is capable of the very act. Even worse: he/she now knows that you believe him/her up to the task. What you have done is giving him/her confidence to move ahead with what up to that very moment was just a thought, if it even was one.
Keep at it and together with re-enforcing his/her self esteem you may even drive them to the very act of adultery. "After all -- they'll eventually come to think -- if I'm constantly being accused of robbing the bank I might as well do it and perhaps it's not such a bad idea, too!"
But how to deal with such powerful emotions? Having recognized that giving in to our often irrationals fears is self defeating, we are now left with two choices: the first one – and in my point of view the most tiring one - is to resort to all kind of spying methods we can come up with and to accuse only when we have secured the proof (remember that for the Law one is innocent until proven guilty).
The second one, is not to give in to our insecurities and to trust that he/she has chosen to be with us like we have chosen to be with him/her. Learning to control our emotions takes some effort and practice and especially the applying of temperance.
From the book Tarot for Relationships by Jocelyn Almond and Keith Seddon – The Aquarian Press:
"The word 'temperance' is often used to mean moderation and control of natural impulses which would lead to foolhardy behavior. A person who practices temperance may appear self-controlled, calm and restrained in difficult circumstances, but the important feature is balance. Nothing is repressed or held back to cause tension or inner turmoil".
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